hah.. I lie to myself often

So it gets harder.
much harder than it seams.
trying not to go crazy.
trying not to scream.
walking foot over foot.
tripping and sending my mind colliding.
I find myself shedding tears.
I botttle them up everymorning.
making sure nobody sees my fears.
I find myself wondering.
even when I am familar.
knowing not wear I am.
Or where I am going.
I am lost where I stand
With my thoughts in the air.
Wish I could breathe.
I forgot what I was thinking.
trying to see what it is I was dreaming.
I forgot why I lived.
to Create and to think.
a colorfull mess of dye in the sink.
A freedom I can't give up.
A freadom I have messed up.
and so I say to myself.
with words to calm what I think.
Try not to go Crazy.
Try hard not to scream.
Put one foot in front of the other.
Because it's not as hard as it seams.